R7D68 – Resting. Reviewing. Reviving.


I find it amusing, I suppose, that I suffered greatly on starting out with P90X. I have gone over my trials, tribulations and my entire journey in a previous post but going back over the last 2 years of home fitness I am amazed at how I blindly ignored my weight, choosing to focus on my perceived fitness. We can be so naive and deceptive when it comes to our health, fitness, body image and weight. It took a long time for me to see the truth.

I rested yesterday, another 4am work install made it too much for an Insanity workout. Instead, I bring you the story of my P90X journey that will prove to everyone the following:

1. It may not work the first time
2. If you don’t fix your diet, you may as well not bother.
3. If you stick with it, results will come.
4. Winners never quit, quitters never win.

I am on my 7th round of Home Fitness. Only since Week 3 of Round 4 have I discovered what really works.

If you are thinking about P90X or Insanity, don’t think, just do. If you are thinking about quitting because it is too hard, go to the funeral of a man who dies in his 40’s leaving a wife and kids behind because it was too hard for him to stay healthy. Ask his family if they sympathize. Ask yourself what your life would become if you had to spend the rest of it in a body you hate, others ridicule and most people don’t know how to escape.

Then do the work.

My P90X journey in a nutshell, taken from my “history” page:

It was obviously time for something to change. I was, for all intents and purposes, a 300lb man wobbling around pretending that I was something I wasn’t. I had convinced myself that my size defined me and that losing “too much” weight would not sit well with me psychologically. I therefore made up my mind that I needed to convince myself that if I didn’t get things under control I would not only have a severely diminished quality of life but in fact, I may end up with no life at all.

The 300lb scare was what I needed to get going. I joined Weight Watchers, and by the end of 2008 I had dropped 30lbs, got my 10% keyring and my 25lb keychain charm and was in a much better place. My weight stayed around 260lbs while I worked out at the gym during the winter and into the summer, remaining there despite all attempts to force it lower. At some point, I think I resigned myself to the notion that I was going to be over 250lbs forever, no matter what I did. That apathy immediately translated into weight gain. Once we started gymnastics coaching again in September of 2009 I was up at around 265lbs. That isn’t the worst part. The biggest surprise was that after starting my P90X blog in June of 2009 I managed to GAIN almost 10lbs. No wonder there are no before and after pictures!!!

Ironically, it was immediately AFTER my first round of P90X that I realized something wasn’t right. I had not been following the nutrition guide, thinking I would be OK doing my own thing and that was my problem.
One more note. I am not following the diet. I know, I know, each time I come across a site where someone says that I think “you idiot, diet is the key, THE KEY DAMMIT” but in my case I have a legitimate excuse. I am studying to be a certified nutritionist and I am designing my own program.

Yes, and I am an idiot and I am designing my own downfall.. The fortunate thing was that I immediately began to feel the sting of jealousy that other people were able to get such amazing results with P90X and I wasn’t. That sting was pride messing with me and in the words of Marcellus Wallace “Pride only hurts, it never helps.”. I continued with P90X, Insanity and hybrids of both until I got to my 4th round of P90X based workouts and was still gaining weight. This was ridiculous, and I was still happily working out and pushing myself hard, and even blindly considering myself to be fit while tipping the scale at 282lbs. My pride was indeed hurting me. My jealousy was becoming an obstacle, preventing me from doing anything for myself and endlessly comparing myself to others in loathsome hatred for their gains. In a final betrayal of my own motivation I had failed at 2 huge goals I had set for myself. 240 by 40 went by completely unnoticed and my goal to be a fit dad BEFORE the baby was born only ended up in frustration.

It was a fateful trip to Huntsville with my parents and a conversation with my Dad and Uncle that finally hit home in October of 2010. I returned home, ashamed that my parents had seen me in such an overweight state and decided I was going to take some nutrition advice for once. I investigated the Paleo Lifestyle and the lightbulb came on in my head. It was almost exactly what I had done years ago when I had my most successful weight loss. It was out with the grains and sugar and in with whole food. In retrospect, the best thing for me was not eating sugar and grains. My body was so overwhelmed by the sugars I was eating that as soon as I stopped I saw dramatic results.

I am not saying I am done, I am still around 230lbs and on my way down to my goal weight which is somewhere below 220lbs. Once I get there, I may see if I can get down to my University weight of under 200 just to see where I am happiest but I am glad to report that for now, I am able to set my weight without feeling hungry, without having any cravings and without preventing myself from enjoying what I love to eat… meat!

*Update: It’s now July 2011 and I am sitting at around 235lbs with 18-18.5% body fat. This was a part of the entry for the day I posted those results.

At my heaviest back in 2008 (on my 1st wedding anniversary!) I was for all intents and purposes 295lbs at a whopping 30% fat. That meant I was approximately 200lbs of person and 100lbs of fat. If I wasn’t disgusted enough at myself before I sure am now!

My latest numbers are a little more encouraging but still a little off base. I am down to approximately 18% fat at around 235lbs which means I am 195lbs of man and 44lbs of stored energy ;) Given those stats and knowing I should be about 12-15% fat, I should be aiming at a goal weight of around about 218lbs-224lbs.

2 thoughts on “R7D68 – Resting. Reviewing. Reviving.”

  1. Congratulations on your journey! I am very active and do P90X (with other trainers thrown in to mix it up) almost everyday. I too tend to struggle with my ego but in a different way. I suffer from nerve damage and loss of motion in my right arm so admitting I can’t do something and have to modify is sometimes hard. But I have a 1 year old daughter I have to make sure I am able to function for.

    You are doing awesome keep it up!

  2. Thanks for the encouragement and you should be very proud of yourself for making your situation work for you. I know what nerve damage is like, I have loss of feeling in my right hand, right leg below the knee and of course plenty of loss of tissue in my right leg from the back surgery so I can imagine the difficulties you have. I like to say that no matter what, something beats nothing every time, so keep on doing what you can and making the best of yourself not only for you but for your family!

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