Something Beats Nothing Every Time

So we went to England for Christmas (see how I ignored my 2 year silence) and upon our return I started with a dry cough. Well, it has been 5 weeks now and they can’t seem to figure out how to fix it. I was given a course of antibiotics that did nothing. They gave me puffers that also did nothing so today I went back to the walk in for the third time and the guy gave me a dose of dexamethasone which he says should last me 6 months. He did however say that it is not pneumonia but he is not sure what it is. Could be a new flu or something but he hopes this does of 3 tiny pills will fix everything. Nicole has pretty much the same thing but Elyse seems fine so far. Being old sucks.

Of course the vacation was fantastic, so great to see my family and old friends however we managed to pick up an addiction to #WILTY which fortunately we have here in Canada on Prime. The irony of me being the least healthy person in the room on our return never sits well with me however whatever this thing is that I have it makes my breathing almost unbearable, I have no energy or appetite but I still have to push through working. I cough so hard I actually vomit which I never believed was a thing until now. This also means no workouts for the time being as I try not to tax myself too hard. I wanted to make a note of this because in the long term it may be good to know what I had.

As for the business our rent went up 70% in December which is going to put a lot of pressure on us going forward. It means bigger classes so advertising will have to be a thing to do from now on. Other than poor health and no money things are going great!!!

I am finding with increasing regularity that I am forgetting some major milestones in my life. That and I seem to be referring to them a lot more as I age. So here just as a placeholder and a page that I am sure will be lost to the mists of time in no short order are some notable things that have happened in my life that for whatever reason I keep forgetting.

Dec 31 2002 – Back surgery 1
April 24 2013 – Back surgery 2
November 13 2018 – Back surgery 3
October 26 2018 – Last day at NYGH (I think)
January 2 2020 – Last pay from NYGH, officially self employed
May 7 2019 – Fell from loading dock breaking shoulder
July 31 2019 – Shoulder surgery
March 17 2020 – First lockdown for COVID-19
May 29 2020 – Open again
October 7 2020 – My uncle Jeff passed
October 20 2020 – Lockdown 2 TEAM still training with tarps
December 26 2020 – Stay at home order issued
February 22 2021 – Open for TEAM still tarped
March 1 2021 – Face shingles. Still nerve damage in March 2022
April 3 2021 – Lockdown again back to zoom classes
June 21 2021 – Open again had moderna booster shot and wiped me out for 4 days (as did the second one also moderna)
August 25 2021 – Tore bicep spotting kips
Jan 5 2022 – Lockdown again, more zoom, plebs restless about mandates
Jan 31 2022 – Finally open fully again vaxxed people only
March 2022 – Vax mandate lifted and tomorrow no more masks

Is it really any surprise I haven’t been writing here for so long, we have been locked away with little to do and less to report until now. We just had our first competition in almost exactly 2 years and the girls have been real troopers getting to this point.

Will this signify a return to my writing? I know my typing is so much worse than it was when I was at NYGH and writing regularly and I also know that my health issues should probably be documented here for my own recall. My protein in my urine which they thought signified kidney failure is not moving at all, seems it is more genetic than alarming. My blood pressure is better than it was and the worst physical issue I have at this point is my left hip. I stopped doing squats of any kind after my third surgery and since then my leg (I guess) has become more of a problem. So I am squatting and doing some legs at the gym again now to see if I can stop the pain but if not I am afraid of thinking I may have a hip replacement in my future.

It is a crazy time right now. Back in January a new virus was discovered, a new coronavirus called Covid-19. Since then the virus spread from China around the globe and has cause a massive pandemic causing governments around the world to close towns, force people into at home lockdown and basically halt the economy. Here in Ontario we were forced to close on the eve of our March Break camp causing us to have to refund $2000 in fees. It has been almost 2 weeks since the lockout and there is no end in sight. We had hoped that we would be able to open April 4th however it looks like that is optimistic now. The schools are out and in an unprecedented move the Province is thinking about cancelling the school year. The football season across the world is suspended with all major sports events cancelled including the 2020 Olympics. It seems like a cheesy horror film to say that all the schools and stores are closed and people aren’t allowed to leave the house but that’s the reality now. The Government has promised aid for us as a business since we are missing almost $50K a month in revenue every month we are closed. There have been almost 1000 infections in Canada with a few deaths however the virus is extremely contagious as they found in Italy Spain and China and now in the USA where Trump, asshat that he is really didn’t take it seriously to start out and now is the most infected country on the planet.

Bizarre is the best way to describe things. Elyse is home from school every day now and the gym is a ghost town. We can’t go to LA Fitness because everyone except essential services is on lockdown. We spend most of our time working on the gym to prep for opening again but there is only so much you can do. Big projects like painting are going to have to be done and cleaning out the pit however we can’t have anyone in to help so it’s gonna be a bit of a job for me to get that all done. Our landlord has told us he may be able to give us some rent relief but if this goes for more than couple of months things will start to look bleak. The only thing we can do is hope that if there are casualties of the sickness on an industry scale that we are not the first and we can pick up some much needed business from the ashes. It’s a crappy thing to say but when there is a bear chasing you all you have to be is the second slowest to survive…

It is incredible to me to think that it’s been 13 months since my back surgery especially when I know just how much difficulty I have reaching things on the floor. Not only that but I am almost back to a fairly normal routine with my shoulder now 6 months post surgery. It’s odd to think that only 5 months ago I couldn’t even reach the push to start button in the car my shoulder was so bad. After getting out of the sling my recovery was painful and painfully slow but since at my age time just spins out of control it seems like no time since then. So how am I doing? Well, my cardiologist says my heart is getting better, the thickness in my heart wall is down and while I still have protein in my urine and less than optimal kidney function I am getting slightly better. That said, my legs are still immensely painful, I have random cramping of my right leg due to the nerve damage and my left leg is suffering due to the inordinate amount of work I ask it to do making up for the lazy one. I can’t really reach the floor very well, I can only just manage to put on my own socks and I really need to find a way to increase the flexibility of my back and legs without risking injury which is the ultimate catch 22. It is now winter and the snow outside makes it treacherous for me to be out and about, I have slipped and almost fallen a couple of times on ice and I actually did fall getting off the ladder after putting up the Christmas lights. Although that sounds dramatic the truth is I caught my chunky running shoe on the bottom rung and keeled over like a sleeping cow being tipped landing softly but embarrassingly on the driveway. I am still sleeping on the recliner in the living room and even though I tried last weekend to sleep in bed I am terrified that I will roll over on my shoulder and rip it apart. At some point I will have to try to string a few nights together and see if I can get back to sleeping like a human again.

Oddly, this is now becoming a list of reminders of when things happened for me since my memory is presently absolute Swiss cheese. I rented a man lift to replace some lights in the gym and by some I mean we have 28 arrays of 6 lights each and were running with a total of around 65 lights instead of the full complement of 168. So I put in about 30 more brighter lights and the place looks so much better for it. Now I am known for not being afraid of much in life given what I have endured but let me tell you being 20ft up in the air at the top of a cherry picker is unbelievably scary for someone of my size and age. Logically I knew the thing couldn’t tip over but it swayed like a drunk on New Year’s Eve and felt like I was about to be catapulted into the abyss. It’s not something I am dying to try again but in all honesty the lift was fun to drive around the gym and with the exception of repeatedly hitting my head while going through doorways and on the frame of the lift itself while entering it was a very fun experience. Terrifying but fun. I am also of the realization that I will probably require painkillers and muscle relaxants for the rest of my life given that my ambition to get stuff done is not dulled by my knowledge of the pain that will follow.

So I am shocked and ashamed to see that the last time I posted here was back in December of 2018. Well, a lot has happened since then and I can tell you it’s been a hell of a burden.

The year ended OK with me trying to recover from my back surgery and all was going quite well however the damage to my leg was significant and even now (September 11 2019) the strength isn’t back much more than it was post op. I know it’s a slow process but it’s been almost a year since my surgery and I was expecting some of the mass and strength to return.

There was a massive glitch in my recovery and I will be short with it here but it has been a terrible ordeal for me and I am certain I would never be able to do the process justice here. Some time in April I was taking out the garbage that we had produced at the gym from installing the new carpet rolls we had been given by U of T Gymnastics. They had donated 6 rolls of 1.5″ carpet which we snatched up and managed to replace most of our 1″ areas and carpet the concrete areas making the gym so much better in the process. Our neighbour who I had repeatedly asked not to park his damn trailer outside our back door had once again put it in the way so I was unable to get my car back into the loading dock to throw the carpet pieces in. (As an aside I also got a new car in March but more on that later). In the process of jumping into an out of the loading dock taking the garbage to my car I fell off the dock landing on my shoulder. The fall was painful but I was able to move my arm and I had thought maybe I had broken something or strained something, little did I know how badly I was hurt.

I called my lovely wife who was napping so I had to drive myself to the hospital to get the requisite xrays etc. I was told to return in a couple of weeks to see if the xrays had cleared up or if I needed an MRI. Long story short I needed the MRI to discover that all 4 rotator cuff muscles had completely detached from the bone. At this point I was told I would have to make a decision on surgery but to wait a few weeks to see how it healed. It was actually going quite well however since the capsule of the joint now had no stabilizing muscles and would likely wear itself out in a matter of months I finally decided to go ahead and have surgery. So on July 31 almost 3 months after the fall I went under the knife. It is also worth noting that I had other injuries from the fall including bruised ribs that made it almost impossible to sleep or breathe once I lay down. I must have scared the crap out of Nicole and Elyse gasping for air laying in bed literally struggling for breath. It was an absolute nightmare.

So here I am 6 weeks after surgery having endured some of the most painful days of my life and having to get used to doing everything with my weaker arm. The pain was in some respects worse than the pain from my back surgery and the first 4 days I was in so much pain that I literally got zero sleep regardless of how many times I took my pain meds. I am now supposed to be out of my sling for the first time and I am very relieved because the sling was causing me significant back pain from having the bolster keep my arm so far away from my body. My arm is incredibly weak my shoulders have atrophied to an unbelievable degree and the pain when I move is still significant. So it’s a new day, I have my arm back although it’s more like Deadpool’s baby legs but it is a start.

On the upside we were able to take a cruise in July on the Allure of the Seas to the Bahamas (before they got destroyed by hurricane Dorian) and it was a great time and improved my leg strength a little due to the amount of walking back and forth to the kids club and the buffet. I had my blood pressure medication increased to try to get my bp down into reasonable territory since apparently it’s still a little out there and the summer has simply disappeared in a haze of pain and day camp. So that’s all for now, I will go into more details about the Subaru Ascent later, maybe…

So the last 3 days have been a real shit show, please excuse the language but honestly I can’t think of a more appropriate description. It is the pain. It has been so bad I have resorted to being back on painkillers to function and although it is only temporary it really bothers me. the problem is the increased mobility in my back. It has been almost 8 weeks since my trip to the hospital and so a very long time since the fine and gross motor muscles of my back have had anything to do. Anyone who has ever broken anything and spent weeks in a cast can attest to the pain that accompanies the first few days of use. The problem with your spine is that every single thing you do from breathing to putting on your shoes involves your back. Last surgery I had issues with my hips. The pain was excruciating and kept me from sleeping for several days at a time. This time it’s the muscles of my lower back that are the issue and the pain is just as intense as the trip to the hospital. In case you are wondering just how painful that is imagine being in so much pain you beg someone to knock you out. Imagine the worst toothache you have ever had (since that is often nerve related) now multiply that by the ratio of your body to your tooth, or approximately (since the average tooth is 1g) 100,000x. It is for all intents and purposes impossible to imagine. Since having my staples out I am able to use the heat which has helped but still the pain comes in ever increasing waves each time I go from one position to another.

On the upside I know the pain is from an ever increasing degree of ability, the more I can do the more everything hurts but it’s now Sunday (day 19) and after spending the day at a gymnastics competition yesterday I am happy to report that the pain is starting to subside. Not only that, it’s 5 degrees today which is a welcome change from the cold and snow we have been having and it also means that next week I should be able to resurrect my walking schedule. But first let’s talk about what all this mobility means in real terms. I can now put one sock on by myself. I can actually do both but the left foot is a real challenge and getting the sock on straight is a pipe dream. Getting into the car is a lot easier now, I don’t have to go bum first any more I can go one leg like a human. I can’t really reach the floor yet. I have tried but unless what I am reaching for is pretty tall it is just not happening. Which means that when I drop anything in the kitchen it’s immediately dog food. Standing for long periods is tough as is sitting but since I managed to pick up a VR headset for black Friday I have been able to do both with regularity and it helps to move between positions as often as possible. So generally speaking things are improving steadily once again. I do have to be very careful about twisting too much and of course with little pain I forget to reach for things with great care. But as I often tell people I am less than 3 weeks out of surgery and I am almost completely functional again so I really can’t complain too much. I haven’t had the chance to go back to the gym to do legs yet because I am waiting an extra week to sit and do the extensions that will tell me just how much strength has come back into my leg. I fear that the answer is very little.  After the impingement I was down to less than 10% and right before the surgery I was back up to 25% but now I am not sure. What I do know is that the muscles themselves are nowhere near back to normal, the nerve pathways are still inactive and the muscle is all but useless without those signals. It will take a while to come back, I just hope it’s not a permanent situation like the first surgery was. As for the feeling in my leg it is slightly better, I get some feeling in my quad and knee now which is good but the sensation is very far from normal as of yet.