Small wins and the slowing scale

So for some time now I have been angered by the appearance of this “” all over the place in my blog posts. I hate to admit it but this morning Google’s AI helped me fix it in a fairly painless way. That is the end of the admission of AI being more than a glorified search engine.

Back to reality and the slowing scale. I am now on to week 15 and having moved up from 5 to 7.5 on week 12 I am sad to report that over the past month my weight has only dipped by 5lbs. Now I write that it seems I am tilting at windmills a little and when I say my total loss since week 1 is now 28.6lbs maybe moving up a dose isn’t as necessary as I feel.

This morning I was 221. That means since my BF is 18% exactly that I am back to being overweight again. I celebrated this last time with this post and funnily enough that picture on the right of me standing next to the 315lb soufflé is that very time. In that pic I am 218lbs, my lowest since I had left university at 190lbs after which I had a very rocky couple of years finding my feet (which promptly disappeared from view) and ended up gaining some weight. However, I had it under control, I was in the gym regularly and was up to about 240 but far more muscular than I was at Western. Things weight wise didn’t really spiral out of control until after the wedding which I am sure is more coincidental than any type of correlation or causation. Even though I remember very well the times Nicole and I would walk to Tims to get 6 cookies and a tub of ice cream at Baskin Robbins to justify our “walk” my weight was only ever up to around 260.

I took a break to do a bit of research and found this little nugget from September 2002:

“So where to start? Well, let’s cover familiar ground for a beginning. I am once again topping the scale at a whopping 250lbs, but since we bought a fat % scale and I am stronger than I have been in years, I am not concerned. Nicole and I walk to Tim Hortons and back every morning which is about 2 miles and I am in the gym at least 5 times a week. However, the weight needs reducing and it is, as always, a slow process.”

Notice how I conveniently left out the part about the ice cream?

This is attempting to go off road a bit, I have to try to catalog all my online posts at some point to help establish a lifetime timeline since my memory is so bad nowadays that getting stuff down in a spreadsheet is going to be the easiest way for me to reconnect with my past. I have been adding to the list for at least 5 years now and it is still a threadbare proposition. The catalog of my posts would help. As an aside I started writing a physical diary in 1983 and transitioned online in 1998 and since then have been relatively good at keeping up with it until maybe 3 years ago when I seemed to hit all my weight and strength goals and had very little to add to my “fitness” blog.

That aside, the point is that my highest ever weight was pretty much one year after my wedding and resulted in a trip to England where upon our return I was forced to reckon with what I had done. It was a direct result of seeing that very image of myself that really started the whole fitness blog in the first place and what a journey that turned out to be. My first day June 19 2009 was 8 months after I had spoken my my Dad and Uncle about our family health issues and scared myself straight. Realizations sometimes take time but they are worth making in the end.

But I digress, what’s new? I also want to note that I have been taking my blood pressure in the morning and it seems to be fairly close to normal now. I would say that maybe 3 of 7 days are in normal range and the others are close 130s/70s.

So much for little wins I guess… Cracking obese, on the threshold of being 100kg again, better blood pressure, under 18%BF the only issue is that I don’t quite look like I do in that picture. I estimate another 10lbs and I will though. It was 10 years ago so there is that…

Wow, almost two years.

Adventures in GLP1 land with Zepbound.

My hip rehab went well, I was walking normally a couple of weeks after the staples came out and had very little complications. That was until January 2025 when I popped something in my right knee at work moving blocks and was in a brace for months. I have not resolved that issue yet but it is better than it was. Reducing my weight would help I know and with that in mind I am sharing my adventures with GLP1.

May 6 2026
Doc appointment to talk about my kidneys. decided maybe trying a GLP1 would be a good idea they have both kidney and heart protection aspects and also a little weight loss isn’t bad. Since I gained 20lbs since last January when I hurt my knee I was all for it. Got the shot, started that night. Injection is a non event I have no problems with needles or anxiety about that stuff.
Week 1 2.5mg
I have been pretty strict about keto for the last 18 years. I have not eaten sugar or grains in that time but find that occasionally potato and rice and good for fiber and for a break. The week 1 coincided with the time I would usually add some carbs for a couple of weeks so I stuck with that plan. My stomach was a little restless on the first morning, nothing to disrupt my day just a slight uneasy feeling that went away. I was a little tired a couple of days and had a headache one morning. This is likely due to low electrolytes since very day since I have been good about my G Zero a day it hasn’t happened again. Lost 1lb this week but feel like I am eating a lot.
Week 2 2.5mg
Really nothing to report except a little lethargy. Am making a very nice thai noodle soup with chicken with lots of bone broth very tasty very filling. some green chili paste fish sauce and gochujang. Have notices some more burping and farting and more indigestion than usual none of which have really been an issue since I gave up grains. Lost another lb but I am really not trying to eat less at all in fact I am happily eating carbs and not feeling crappy.
Week 3 2.5mg
Got new scale and found out that my other impedance scale judges my fat to be 10% less than it is. This new scale has a hand held set on contacts and feet. It is measuring my BF at about 34% to start. My old scale used to say I was 22-24. ( I have since found out that I was not using the “athlete” setting on the new scale. since I tuned that option on I am back down to the low 20’s again). Seem to be sleeping a bit better and less tired during the day. Not sure why or if it is relevant. Lost 2.2lbs which makes no sense since I am on a bit of a carb bender. By that I mean potato and rice noodles and some carbonaught seed bread. Usually I am below 20g of carbs the last couple of weeks probably up around 100 or so.
Week 4 2.5 mg
Started by drinking green tea. Has health benefits apparently is tasty and I can have it with no cream. My cream intake has been about 1500 calories a day so we will find out how I go without caffeine and cream. Lost 3.2lbs am confused.
Week 5 5mg
Upgraded to 5mg and since it has been really easy so far I was filled with irrational and inadvisable confidence. Injected Wednesday night as usual. Felt OK Thursday so had a large bowl of spicy thai soup for dinner to celebrate. Friday through Sunday I felt like I had swallowed a zeppelin and looked pregnant. I have NEVER been so bloated in all my life. Threw up a few times over the 3 days which was weird because I wasn’t eating a single thing just drinking what I could. I couldn’t go to the gym, barely could make it to coaching and was in a huge amount of pain digestively. It wasn’t until Tuesday morning 6 days after the shot that I finally went to the gym and was able to stomach some food. By Wednesday night when it was time for the shot I had lost 8.6lbs.
Week 6 5mg
Had done a lot of reading online and in forums about the side effects and experiences of others. Which led me to understand that you need to be careful the couple of days after the shot and that the slow passing of food is a real problem if you eat something that doesn’t agree with you. I think my biggest issue last week was the fact I have something too spicy and that it sat in my digestive system for 4 days wreaking havoc as it went. I was living on chicken and cottage cheese and potato wedges since they seemed to be safe bets. Was very careful about food the two days after the shot but ultimately was just getting frustrated with the lack of available food and the fact I don’t have the desire to eat anything. hard to decide what to eat when you don’t actually want to eat. Week 6 was mostly very bland food in small amounts and dealing with indigestion and stomach pain. Tried ginger, medications, gas pills pretty much everything but not much actually helps except moving about. Since I coach pretty much 4 hours every day I noticed right away that being on my feet was more comfortable than anything else from a digestive standpoint. Lost 3.6lbs.
Week 7 5mg
Started by feeling a bit normal for once. Had some appetite for some food but quickly went away as soon as I had one bite. No more pain just indigestion. Eating a bit more normally eggs, seed bread, potato chicken etc. Not actively trying to lose weight as such but it is falling off anyway. I am currently on Monday of week7 so my week 8 shot is in 2 days and I don’t feel anything. no hunger, no indigestion, no discomfort but I do have preference for food again which is actually nice. I am eating probably 1/4 the portions that I would normally have but rather than 2 meals a day am having 4-5. My weight is hovering around the mark I was after my big loss from going Paleo then keto in 2008. For the record I have not been this weight consistently since 2024 before I hurt my knee and had to take time off the gym. If I get down below 220 I won’t have been that weight since 2019 and if (which seems unlikely even now) I go below 200 I will be at a weight I have not ben since I graduated University in 1992 which was (I hate this part) 34 years ago. Here is the thing… You don’t see many 250lb 80 year olds wandering around and there is probably a good reason for that. I have been mulling over my reducing my size for many years now since I turned 50 in fact. The issue with body dysmorphia is that it doesn’t care about reality or health or common sense, it only cares about messing with your head. I have to find a way to wrap my head around not being the biggest guy in the room anymore and more importantly not caring about it. Can I be happy at 200lbs? I have no idea. When I was in Uni I was known as the Big Guy so I guess it is possible still to be an imposing figure at that size but I must wrestle with why I need to feel that way. Much of my identity has been intertwined with my size and strength my whole life and it is hard to extricate my worth from that feeling. This inner conflict is essentially why I started to update again. I think it is fun to document my losses when I am going through them and also, in a month, I won’t remember how I felt and I think it is important to recognize struggles and victories so you can reflect on them. I think I am supposed to be on 5mg for 8 weeks so still lots of time until anything changes with the medication I am interested in seeing if after the next shot I feel as indifferent and “normal” as I do now and what effect it may have on my weight.

I made notes… Hip Recovery 2024

(It is important to note this was mostly dictated and since Apple is terrible at technology it doesn’t really fit stylistically with the rest of my posts…)

Day 1
I did sleep in bed last night, which was very painful. Had to get out of bed three times to go to the washroom of course because peeing is fucking stupid when you’re 56. Pain is not too bad until I move, unsurprisingly. Probably gets to about a six at times but the morphine is doing pretty well handling that. I am able to stand on my leg. I did stand on my leg in the kitchen for a little bit today and it wasn’t too painful, but I can tell my knee is cracking and moving around a lot more now than it was before I had my hip problems so that’s pretty disappointing. I’m gonna have to make sure that I’m strengthening my knee as well as my hip as time goes along but I do recall that my knee was affected after my back surgery too so I am going to assume it will pass.

Basically I’m just sitting on the couch watching the TV and nibbling on some small amounts of food I had hiccoughs for an hour yesterday and I have not pooped yet since the surgery. Not sure when that’s gonna happen but I am farting a lot, well a bit, so I don’t think I’m constipated. I just don’t think I’ve eaten enough food to really pass through yet. No jaundice this time, I did seem a little bit yellow yesterday but certainly not to the degree that I was the last time so that’s good news. I’m drinking plenty of water so hopefully that won’t happen and besides I think it’s too late for it to happen at this point.

I did my exercises. I gotta do those three times a day. That’s pretty easy to get done and the painkillers are making life tolerable so things are not bad at this point for day one of recovery. As far as the exercises go, I can pretty much do everything. The one thing I cannot do is lift my left leg up more than 45°, which is fully expected. All my other exercises are pretty easy, including the hamstring curls the calf raises and the quad flexions and all that stuff is all fine. I think the big indicator of strength and recovery of the surgery site will be the leg lift. I am aiming to be able to lift up to one step as a starter, at this point I can barely get my foot off the floor.

Day 2
Last night sleeping was terrible. It’s because everything gets locked up when it’s cold. It’s just so painful to try and get in and out of bed so I ended up coming down to the couch at 4 AM to sleep down here. Once I take the drugs everything seems to be a little bit better, and once my hip is warm it’s definitely better. I’ve just been walking around the house for about 10 minutes, which isn’t bad but the pain from the incision is quite bad, very tender. I did use some ice yesterday and some ice this morning. Hopefully that’ll help a little bit. I got a pill stuck in my throat this morning because it’s a gel cap. It stuck in my windpipe and wouldn’t come out cause it couldn’t cough it up so that’s been disgusting the last couple of hours. It’s so freaking hot now too, 40’s with the humidity so every time I get up I get so hot and sweaty. It’s gross, a lot of effort, but I can put weight on my leg which I guess is a good thing. I got my new (cotton, nice and thin) house coat off Amazon yesterday which is also helped because that other one is just too thick and boiling hot but I’m still so sweaty. I’m gonna ruin this couch pretty much.

I took my medication at 7 AM which means I shouldn’t have had more morphine till 11 but I took some at nine so I can’t have any more until three. It is easy to see how people accidentally overdose with opioids because you literally just forget how many you have had. The big deal of the day is that it’s 11:30 in the morning and I just pooped and showered. I can stop worrying about being constipated which along with the jaundice are things that can be serious issues. Managed to get on the scale, and my weight is 246. Not good. Wonder how much is swelling because there is a LOT of swelling from my ribs down to my knee. Used ice a few times today after seeing my waistline after shower. I also have a massive bruise developing just above my waistline which isn’t painful however, the incision is at the stinging part now. There is no better word for it than that and it is such a different sensation than the rest of the pain. It can get up to 7 on the pain scale however most of the day I am around 4

Day 3
Slept on couch, was much better. Took meds at 7 so next morphine is 11 then 3 then 7. Morning is quite painful until morphine kicks in, probably around 7/10. I still have no feeling in my leg so I’m icing my quad, but I can’t feel the ice right from my hip down to my knee. I have to admit I wasn’t expecting the numbing to last this long or be this effective but I guess with that much mass being affected there is no other way.

I went to the basement and got underwear today so that was an adventure. Other than that, recovery is pretty slow at the moment. I’m still at the point where it’s a big decision whether to try and get off the couch or not because it’s pretty painful getting up and getting back down on the couch so I have to make sure it’s worth it. That said I am getting up once an hour now to at least do something. Hamstring on left quite sore. Throat still sore from the intubation. Incision is stinging as is my lowest quad which is weird. I am getting to the point now where I can lay and sit in slightly different positions to make sure that I don’t get immobile. Leg extension can almost get to 90° now but it is producing a lot more pain after my exercises. I’m at about an eight that’s why I’ve been doing them right around the time that I take my pain meds. I am also learning that dictation through an iPhone is really only about 75% effective which in 2024 is pathetic. All in all things are going slowly still, I expect the pace to pick up a bit towards day 7.

Update

So we went to England for Christmas (see how I ignored my 2 year silence) and upon our return I started with a dry cough. Well, it has been 5 weeks now and they can’t seem to figure out how to fix it. I was given a course of antibiotics that did nothing. They gave me puffers that also did nothing so today I went back to the walk in for the third time and the guy gave me a dose of dexamethasone which he says should last me 6 months. He did however say that it is not pneumonia but he is not sure what it is. Could be a new flu or something but he hopes this does of 3 tiny pills will fix everything. Nicole has pretty much the same thing but Elyse seems fine so far. Being old sucks.

Of course the vacation was fantastic, so great to see my family and old friends however we managed to pick up an addiction to #WILTY which fortunately we have here in Canada on Prime. The irony of me being the least healthy person in the room on our return never sits well with me however whatever this thing is that I have it makes my breathing almost unbearable, I have no energy or appetite but I still have to push through working. I cough so hard I actually vomit which I never believed was a thing until now. This also means no workouts for the time being as I try not to tax myself too hard. I wanted to make a note of this because in the long term it may be good to know what I had.

As for the business our rent went up 70% in December which is going to put a lot of pressure on us going forward. It means bigger classes so advertising will have to be a thing to do from now on. Other than poor health and no money things are going great!!!

2022 – A retrospective

I am finding with increasing regularity that I am forgetting some major milestones in my life. That and I seem to be referring to them a lot more as I age. So here just as a placeholder and a page that I am sure will be lost to the mists of time in no short order are some notable things that have happened in my life that for whatever reason I keep forgetting.

Dec 31 2002 – Back surgery 1
April 24 2013 – Back surgery 2
November 13 2018 – Back surgery 3
October 26 2018 – Last day at NYGH (I think)
January 2 2020 – Last pay from NYGH, officially self employed
May 7 2019 – Fell from loading dock breaking shoulder
July 31 2019 – Shoulder surgery
March 17 2020 – First lockdown for COVID-19
May 29 2020 – Open again
October 7 2020 – My uncle Jeff passed
October 20 2020 – Lockdown 2 TEAM still training with tarps
December 26 2020 – Stay at home order issued
February 22 2021 – Open for TEAM still tarped
March 1 2021 – Face shingles. Still nerve damage in March 2022
April 3 2021 – Lockdown again back to zoom classes
June 21 2021 – Open again had moderna booster shot and wiped me out for 4 days (as did the second one also moderna)
August 25 2021 – Tore bicep spotting kips
Jan 5 2022 – Lockdown again, more zoom, plebs restless about mandates
Jan 31 2022 – Finally open fully again vaxxed people only
March 2022 – Vax mandate lifted and tomorrow no more masks

Is it really any surprise I haven’t been writing here for so long, we have been locked away with little to do and less to report until now. We just had our first competition in almost exactly 2 years and the girls have been real troopers getting to this point.

Will this signify a return to my writing? I know my typing is so much worse than it was when I was at NYGH and writing regularly and I also know that my health issues should probably be documented here for my own recall. My protein in my urine which they thought signified kidney failure is not moving at all, seems it is more genetic than alarming. My blood pressure is better than it was and the worst physical issue I have at this point is my left hip. I stopped doing squats of any kind after my third surgery and since then my leg (I guess) has become more of a problem. So I am squatting and doing some legs at the gym again now to see if I can stop the pain but if not I am afraid of thinking I may have a hip replacement in my future.



Life on lockdown

It is a crazy time right now. Back in January a new virus was discovered, a new coronavirus called Covid-19. Since then the virus spread from China around the globe and has cause a massive pandemic causing governments around the world to close towns, force people into at home lockdown and basically halt the economy. Here in Ontario we were forced to close on the eve of our March Break camp causing us to have to refund $2000 in fees. It has been almost 2 weeks since the lockout and there is no end in sight. We had hoped that we would be able to open April 4th however it looks like that is optimistic now. The schools are out and in an unprecedented move the Province is thinking about cancelling the school year. The football season across the world is suspended with all major sports events cancelled including the 2020 Olympics. It seems like a cheesy horror film to say that all the schools and stores are closed and people aren’t allowed to leave the house but that’s the reality now. The Government has promised aid for us as a business since we are missing almost $50K a month in revenue every month we are closed. There have been almost 1000 infections in Canada with a few deaths however the virus is extremely contagious as they found in Italy Spain and China and now in the USA where Trump, asshat that he is really didn’t take it seriously to start out and now is the most infected country on the planet.

Bizarre is the best way to describe things. Elyse is home from school every day now and the gym is a ghost town. We can’t go to LA Fitness because everyone except essential services is on lockdown. We spend most of our time working on the gym to prep for opening again but there is only so much you can do. Big projects like painting are going to have to be done and cleaning out the pit however we can’t have anyone in to help so it’s gonna be a bit of a job for me to get that all done. Our landlord has told us he may be able to give us some rent relief but if this goes for more than couple of months things will start to look bleak. The only thing we can do is hope that if there are casualties of the sickness on an industry scale that we are not the first and we can pick up some much needed business from the ashes. It’s a crappy thing to say but when there is a bear chasing you all you have to be is the second slowest to survive…

The Speed of Life

It is incredible to me to think that it’s been 13 months since my back surgery especially when I know just how much difficulty I have reaching things on the floor. Not only that but I am almost back to a fairly normal routine with my shoulder now 6 months post surgery. It’s odd to think that only 5 months ago I couldn’t even reach the push to start button in the car my shoulder was so bad. After getting out of the sling my recovery was painful and painfully slow but since at my age time just spins out of control it seems like no time since then. So how am I doing? Well, my cardiologist says my heart is getting better, the thickness in my heart wall is down and while I still have protein in my urine and less than optimal kidney function I am getting slightly better. That said, my legs are still immensely painful, I have random cramping of my right leg due to the nerve damage and my left leg is suffering due to the inordinate amount of work I ask it to do making up for the lazy one. I can’t really reach the floor very well, I can only just manage to put on my own socks and I really need to find a way to increase the flexibility of my back and legs without risking injury which is the ultimate catch 22. It is now winter and the snow outside makes it treacherous for me to be out and about, I have slipped and almost fallen a couple of times on ice and I actually did fall getting off the ladder after putting up the Christmas lights. Although that sounds dramatic the truth is I caught my chunky running shoe on the bottom rung and keeled over like a sleeping cow being tipped landing softly but embarrassingly on the driveway. I am still sleeping on the recliner in the living room and even though I tried last weekend to sleep in bed I am terrified that I will roll over on my shoulder and rip it apart. At some point I will have to try to string a few nights together and see if I can get back to sleeping like a human again.

Oddly, this is now becoming a list of reminders of when things happened for me since my memory is presently absolute Swiss cheese. I rented a man lift to replace some lights in the gym and by some I mean we have 28 arrays of 6 lights each and were running with a total of around 65 lights instead of the full complement of 168. So I put in about 30 more brighter lights and the place looks so much better for it. Now I am known for not being afraid of much in life given what I have endured but let me tell you being 20ft up in the air at the top of a cherry picker is unbelievably scary for someone of my size and age. Logically I knew the thing couldn’t tip over but it swayed like a drunk on New Year’s Eve and felt like I was about to be catapulted into the abyss. It’s not something I am dying to try again but in all honesty the lift was fun to drive around the gym and with the exception of repeatedly hitting my head while going through doorways and on the frame of the lift itself while entering it was a very fun experience. Terrifying but fun. I am also of the realization that I will probably require painkillers and muscle relaxants for the rest of my life given that my ambition to get stuff done is not dulled by my knowledge of the pain that will follow.

Oh, you didn’t know?

So I am shocked and ashamed to see that the last time I posted here was back in December of 2018. Well, a lot has happened since then and I can tell you it’s been a hell of a burden.

The year ended OK with me trying to recover from my back surgery and all was going quite well however the damage to my leg was significant and even now (September 11 2019) the strength isn’t back much more than it was post op. I know it’s a slow process but it’s been almost a year since my surgery and I was expecting some of the mass and strength to return.

There was a massive glitch in my recovery and I will be short with it here but it has been a terrible ordeal for me and I am certain I would never be able to do the process justice here. Some time in April I was taking out the garbage that we had produced at the gym from installing the new carpet rolls we had been given by U of T Gymnastics. They had donated 6 rolls of 1.5″ carpet which we snatched up and managed to replace most of our 1″ areas and carpet the concrete areas making the gym so much better in the process. Our neighbour who I had repeatedly asked not to park his damn trailer outside our back door had once again put it in the way so I was unable to get my car back into the loading dock to throw the carpet pieces in. (As an aside I also got a new car in March but more on that later). In the process of jumping into an out of the loading dock taking the garbage to my car I fell off the dock landing on my shoulder. The fall was painful but I was able to move my arm and I had thought maybe I had broken something or strained something, little did I know how badly I was hurt.

I called my lovely wife who was napping so I had to drive myself to the hospital to get the requisite xrays etc. I was told to return in a couple of weeks to see if the xrays had cleared up or if I needed an MRI. Long story short I needed the MRI to discover that all 4 rotator cuff muscles had completely detached from the bone. At this point I was told I would have to make a decision on surgery but to wait a few weeks to see how it healed. It was actually going quite well however since the capsule of the joint now had no stabilizing muscles and would likely wear itself out in a matter of months I finally decided to go ahead and have surgery. So on July 31 almost 3 months after the fall I went under the knife. It is also worth noting that I had other injuries from the fall including bruised ribs that made it almost impossible to sleep or breathe once I lay down. I must have scared the crap out of Nicole and Elyse gasping for air laying in bed literally struggling for breath. It was an absolute nightmare.

So here I am 6 weeks after surgery having endured some of the most painful days of my life and having to get used to doing everything with my weaker arm. The pain was in some respects worse than the pain from my back surgery and the first 4 days I was in so much pain that I literally got zero sleep regardless of how many times I took my pain meds. I am now supposed to be out of my sling for the first time and I am very relieved because the sling was causing me significant back pain from having the bolster keep my arm so far away from my body. My arm is incredibly weak my shoulders have atrophied to an unbelievable degree and the pain when I move is still significant. So it’s a new day, I have my arm back although it’s more like Deadpool’s baby legs but it is a start.

On the upside we were able to take a cruise in July on the Allure of the Seas to the Bahamas (before they got destroyed by hurricane Dorian) and it was a great time and improved my leg strength a little due to the amount of walking back and forth to the kids club and the buffet. I had my blood pressure medication increased to try to get my bp down into reasonable territory since apparently it’s still a little out there and the summer has simply disappeared in a haze of pain and day camp. So that’s all for now, I will go into more details about the Subaru Ascent later, maybe…

BS2018 – RD16 – Pain with a side of pain.

So the last 3 days have been a real shit show, please excuse the language but honestly I can’t think of a more appropriate description. It is the pain. It has been so bad I have resorted to being back on painkillers to function and although it is only temporary it really bothers me. the problem is the increased mobility in my back. It has been almost 8 weeks since my trip to the hospital and so a very long time since the fine and gross motor muscles of my back have had anything to do. Anyone who has ever broken anything and spent weeks in a cast can attest to the pain that accompanies the first few days of use. The problem with your spine is that every single thing you do from breathing to putting on your shoes involves your back. Last surgery I had issues with my hips. The pain was excruciating and kept me from sleeping for several days at a time. This time it’s the muscles of my lower back that are the issue and the pain is just as intense as the trip to the hospital. In case you are wondering just how painful that is imagine being in so much pain you beg someone to knock you out. Imagine the worst toothache you have ever had (since that is often nerve related) now multiply that by the ratio of your body to your tooth, or approximately (since the average tooth is 1g) 100,000x. It is for all intents and purposes impossible to imagine. Since having my staples out I am able to use the heat which has helped but still the pain comes in ever increasing waves each time I go from one position to another.

On the upside I know the pain is from an ever increasing degree of ability, the more I can do the more everything hurts but it’s now Sunday (day 19) and after spending the day at a gymnastics competition yesterday I am happy to report that the pain is starting to subside. Not only that, it’s 5 degrees today which is a welcome change from the cold and snow we have been having and it also means that next week I should be able to resurrect my walking schedule. But first let’s talk about what all this mobility means in real terms. I can now put one sock on by myself. I can actually do both but the left foot is a real challenge and getting the sock on straight is a pipe dream. Getting into the car is a lot easier now, I don’t have to go bum first any more I can go one leg like a human. I can’t really reach the floor yet. I have tried but unless what I am reaching for is pretty tall it is just not happening. Which means that when I drop anything in the kitchen it’s immediately dog food. Standing for long periods is tough as is sitting but since I managed to pick up a VR headset for black Friday I have been able to do both with regularity and it helps to move between positions as often as possible. So generally speaking things are improving steadily once again. I do have to be very careful about twisting too much and of course with little pain I forget to reach for things with great care. But as I often tell people I am less than 3 weeks out of surgery and I am almost completely functional again so I really can’t complain too much. I haven’t had the chance to go back to the gym to do legs yet because I am waiting an extra week to sit and do the extensions that will tell me just how much strength has come back into my leg. I fear that the answer is very little.  After the impingement I was down to less than 10% and right before the surgery I was back up to 25% but now I am not sure. What I do know is that the muscles themselves are nowhere near back to normal, the nerve pathways are still inactive and the muscle is all but useless without those signals. It will take a while to come back, I just hope it’s not a permanent situation like the first surgery was. As for the feeling in my leg it is slightly better, I get some feeling in my quad and knee now which is good but the sensation is very far from normal as of yet.

BS2018 – RD12 – Reflections and Plateaus

Pain 1 Mobility 6

I was checking back over my 2002 surgery recovery journal and even though I know I was terrible in my execution of my rehab I had forgotten just how badly it went due to my own idiocy. Not only did it take me 11 days to start walking outside but the first 2 months were rife with relapses. I had forgotten just how many times it happened but as I read back it appears as though there were at least 5 incidents where my nerves were impacted during my recovery. Not only did this make my recovery so much longer but it also ended up impacting my long term recovery in a very negative way. I know that in comparison I only had 2 such incidents during my 2013 recovery one of which was 100% avoidable and my own fault and that my restoration took significantly less time and was infinitely more successful. That said, both recoveries had a big plateau component to them which I am passing through right now. It isn’t that I don’t feel better it is more that my recovery is slowing down as I get better. The days of improving leaps and bounds are over and I am left with incremental improvements that are only noticeable 3 to 4 days at a time. I am also experiencing the usual muscular tightness around my incision and across my lumbar spine. This is totally normal but a real pain because it makes me more aware of the movements I am making and now requires attention to fix. Typically as you start to rehab an injury it takes a while for your body to adapt to moving again and as my spine flexes and twists more as the pain leaves so the muscles have to adapt and start to load up again causing soreness.

I had a rough patch this week, after stopping the painkillers on Saturday (Day 5) it took a week to get the shakes, nerves and emotional catharsis out of my system. For anyone who hasn’t experienced withdrawal from painkillers it’s not fun. Irrational emotional mood swings, cold and hot spells mostly overlapping and of course intense digestive distress together with a headache that feels like someone is driving a car over your face. Yes it’s all fun and games until you have to stop…

As for the pain, I am starting to get more muscular pain ghte more I stand and move. I have been sitting a little and that has caused so much more pain while the muscles adjust. I am now at the point where I have extreme pain when I have been standing for a while and have to sit or lay down. In fact  it is painful no matter what I switch from and to and this is something I expected. I just didn’t expect it to be quite so painful.