From Joe Manganiello’s book “Evolution – The Cutting Edge Guide to Breaking Down Mental Walls and Building the Body You’ve Always Wanted”
We live in a society that is headed in a frightening direction. It is rapidly becoming a culture that shields our fragile egos from failure. The result is a society of people who applaud potential instead of results, and a mentality of “good enough” rather than “better than ever.”
Our hypersensitive society has created a mentality that can’t handle failure. Whether you’re first or last, we preach “Good try!” instead of “Work harder.” We do it with everything, and we do it in the worst ways possible, such as with our health. We coddle ourselves, and it’s the reason why so many people think it’s okay to be overweight and out of shape. Or why so many have rationalized their inability to exercise and eat in a healthy way. You fail once and then tell yourself that something better isn’t a possibility.
The reality? You’ve been taught to quit at failure. You don’t smell success, because there’s no incentive to push forward. There’s no hurt, pain, or disappointment when you fall short. For you to evolve, that must all change.
The problem is apparent everywhere. Look no further than today’s youth. Children play sports games where goals aren’t counted and everyone gets a trophy at the end. I’m all for providing a nurturing environment for children to grow up in. Heck, almost all of the charity organizations I work with are designed to provide better lives for kids. But people need to be pushed—both externally and internally. That internal fire can never burn without some fuel, and that fuel can come in the form of disappointment, embarrassment, and even jealously. The poison, no doubt, is in the dose, as these traits are incredibly corrosive if held on to for extended periods of time, but if you can learn to convert them into positive actions, they can help you tremendously.
I benefitted from failure. I needed to feel it. I needed to sit in it. I needed to know what losing felt like, and I needed to get angry about it and never want to feel that way again. Without it, I would have been robbed of the lifeblood that has propelled me all these years later. It would have eliminated my opportunity to stand taller.
I hate failing, and, even worse, I hate admitting it. But at night, I can look at myself in the mirror and know that every time I did fail, it was the best thing for me. I got back up, devised a better plan of action, and went back with fire in my stomach for those who doubted me when I told them what I wanted to achieve, changes I desired to make, and who I wanted to become.
I issue that same challenge to you. I want you to look at your failures, embrace them, and immerse yourself in them. Then I want you to use that pain as fuel and set up this one seemingly simple goal: What can you change in a year?
I’m going to need you to accept nothing less than your best effort. You owe it to yourself to know, once and for all, how far you can go. I want you to look in that mirror and love what you see, inside and out. I want you to feel like you’ve earned your sleep at night.
All I ask is that you believe that what I’m telling you has worked for me and to do the footwork.