Day 11 Fo’ sho’

“The haves and have-nots can often be traced back to the dids and did-nots” D.O. Flynn

It’s time for Yoga X. I feel a thousand times better today and after some research online and following my own instincts I think I have narrowed my ailment down to salmonella poisoning from spinach. The symptoms fit, both Nicole and I were sick with the same type of ailment, mine being worse because I eat a lot more spinach than she does. Whatever it was, it seems to be mostly gone by now, along with the remaining bag of Costco spinach. So back on track. I am annoyed that I had to take the 2 days off however it gave me a chance to catch up on some Wii tennis, bowling and of course some Wii Fit. No Wii X thank God. My Mii is still obese, poor kid, as you would expect for someone my weight but it just goes to show the shortcomings of the BMI system.

Description Women Men
Essential fat 10–12% 2–4%
Athletes 14–20% 6–13%
Fitness 21–24% 14–17%
Acceptable 25–31% 18–25%
Overweight 32-41% 26-37%
Obese 42%+ 38%+

They say that a male my age should be around 18-25% body fat. Right now I am around 21% which is OK. However, according to the BMI chart I am right on the brink between Class 1 obese and Class 2 obese. To show how ridiculous the system gets, before I started dieting for the wedding I was right on the brink of morbidly obese. That is the kind of language you only hear on programs like “Half-Ton Tween” or “Four Ton Father-In-Law” and even though at the time I would have admitted that I was a fat bastard I certainly wasn’t having to be wheeled around in a $7000 custom made wheelchair big enough for a pregnant hippo. I digress however, only to heap sympathy on my Mii who has a hard time seeing over his enormous chest and for whom I am certain, seeing his feet is out of the question.

Not, I repeat, NOT normal behaviour!
Not, I repeat, NOT normal behaviour!

Yoga X for the second time was, if I can recall the first one clearly enough, a little easier this time around however let me just say up front that even though Yoga is all about peace and tranquility and stuff if I ever find the dude who came up with the revese twist grab back thingy I will personally choke the living daylights out of him. That is not normal, no reasonable person would do that or expect other people to do that. Unless you for some reason are trying to impress the parents of your new contortionist family there is no reason that you would attempt to do something that messed up with your body. Having said that, I was able to do far more this time around including 2 – count them – 2 crane poses of 10 seconds each. The fact that I am happy about that makes me question my sanity but there you have it. I had forgotten (seems like an ongoing trend with me nowadays) that the Yoga was actually a 90 minute session and after the first “section” I was completely bagged. The main reason for this is becasue my recollection was that the really difficult stuff, the runners pose and endless dogs of various types, was about 20 minutes or so. I discovered that it was not until about 47 minutes in that we were allowed off the floor to start on the balance phase. Nicole was at the gym doing her floor hours so I was short on people to whom I could voice my complaints. Regardless, I persevered, which I think in the end is the whole point of this thing. Chalk another one up for me but my feeling that the end of the tunnel is right around the corner is fading fast. There are moments of sheer exhaustion where I can’t even imagine being able to make it through the week, never mind 90 days of this but like so many addicts and dieters before me, I will mutter the famed mantra “one day at a time” under my breath and keep on keeping on. I should have character coming out of my butt by the time this is over!

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